Monday June 19, 2017

Dear son,

Missed writing last Friday.  The reason was for you, as always.  We went to the indoor gym at Angus Glen where they put all kinds of cars, balls and fun kid stuff in the gym for kids your age to play.  At first, you seem a little hesitant to play, but you eventually warmed up and started having fun.  The whole indoor gym was for an hour and a half, and we got there right at the beginning and you didn’t leave until the end.  You ran ran and ran, played played and played.  You don’t vocalize much, but you sure had fun.  Gosh, I broke out in sweat chasing after you.  Luckily your yea-yea was there, and subbed in for me.

So what’s been happening in your little life the past week.  As you know, we’ve returned from Hawaii, and for some reason you reverted to your younger days, sleep-wise.  First, you are not willing to sleep on your own, unless we are in the room with you and second you have been waking up in the middle of the night at least once.  The whole last week, your mom and I had to wake up to soothe you in the middle of the night.  We finally decided over the weekend that you will cry it out, and this night time wake up ritual needs to stop.  Sometimes I think it’s abuse.  I watch you on the monitor cry and cry, and wail and wail and we just leave you.  Eventually, you calm back down and go back to sleep and the next morning, you are brand new like nothing happened.  I know you miss us, but we are just next door.  Don’t worry, we won’t be leaving for vacation again without you.

Over the weekend, it was Father’s Day.  You probably didn’t know that, in your world, it’s either one of three things, eat, sleep or play.  There’s nothing else.  So for Father’s Day weekend, we first cut your hair.  Cutting your hair is always painful, as you are inconsolable.  However, for last half year now, you have been absolutely fascinated with RC trucks on youtube.  You just love watching them do construction work and do the pouring and all kinds of stuff.  I don’t know if you know that these are miniatures of the real thing, but whatever the case maybe, you are fascinated with it.  So as a way to control you during the haircut, we put it on for your viewing pleasure.  You don’t get to watch much TV, but when you do, it’s for some reason.  🙂 Of course, you stilled cried.  However, we were able to get a nice cut in. It’s nice a short and not that long bushy stuff that you’ve been running around with.  Now it’s summer so it’s perfect time for short hair.

Afterwards, we had a playdate with auntie Louisa and uncle Adam with Sully.  Of course, you still played in parallel, I don’t think you’ve come to understand how to play together.  That’s okay, eventually you’ll get there.  I don’t know why, maybe it’s how uncle Adam looks, but you are not afraid of him like other people.  Typically you are shy and you cower around your mom and I.  But you didn’t with uncle Ad.  In fact, when we went out to walk around, you even let him hold your hand as we crossed the street.  I don’t know what it is, maybe uncle Ad is just warm, and you like him.  Who knows, hopefully we’ll have more playdates and you can play more with Sully.

It’s funny sometimes, people say you are tall.  And I’m happy about that, but to me, I really can’t tell.  Reason is, Sully and Evy are both big babies, and as compared to them you are not that tall.  It’s so hard to tell if you really are tall.  However, when we went to Angus Glen, there was a kid there around your age, and you were at least a head above him.  That was when I knew you were tall.

On Sunday, we celebrated Father’s Day with yea-yea for lunch and gon-gon at dinner.  You gave yea-yea a “Grandpa and me” book, which we bought and we bought gon-gon a cake.  As their only grandson, you melt their hearts all the time.  Of course, we are the closest people you have and sadly, makes us your closest friends.  So when they leave, you yearn for them.  Why won’t they melt knowing that?

As I reflect on the past Father’s day weekend, one thing strikes me between a Father-child relationship.  As men, we hold close our emotions.  Typically affection is not something we show, whether it be conditioning or embarrassment or ethnicity.  But unlike women, they are more open with emotions.  However, with kids, it breaks down all barriers men have with their kids.  They are as open and free emotionally with them.  I think ultimately we don’t like to be judge and we know with children, how goofy we are will not lead to a negative judgement.

I hope in the future you will understand this with your child.  YOu will grow through a phase where it’ll be tough being men and having the expectation of what men should be like.  But remember, no one is judging you except yourself.  Confidence comes within, not from others.

Love always,

Dad.

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