Crazy week last week. I didn’t realize it while writing last week’s letter, but last Friday you were really ill. I saw the signs, but I didn’t know what it meant. On Friday morning of last week, I noticed you were breathing very heavily. Your little tummy beat like a heart beat. I didn’t think much of it, because I didn’t know what that meant, and I left for work as normal.
In the late afternoon, I called my parents to check up on you. They said you were sleeping all day, which for me was a good sign. More sleep = faster recovery. So my parents didn’t take you out Friday, as they normally would, and just let you rest.
That night, was supposedly our delayed your mom’s birthday/your grandpa’s (yea-yea) birthday/Mother Day celebration. We made reservations at Dragon Legend, which we looked forward to. This buffet had some good reviews, but more importantly it had all you can eat peking duck! I don’t know when the last time I had peking duck, but I was sure looking forward to it.
When your mom and I arrived, you were already there. Immediately, when your mom saw you, she knew something was wrong. I saw you looked ill, but I didn’t think much of it. (Difference between dad’s and mom’s – always listen to mom) Your mom then held you and got more worried. Meanwhile in the background, yea-yea and maa-maa told us you were sweating a lot. They were reluctant to say, but they said you were cold-sweating. Not knowing what that meant, we pressed for the meaning. Without giving too much, they said these were signs of weakness. We got the hint, it was not good. Your mom wasn’t sure whether to take you to the walk-in or just eat and monitor. On one hand, she didn’t want to waste money as we had to pay for our spots, but on the other she was concerned. After we picked up a plate of peking duck, she asked me whether we should just go to the walk-in, or stay here. I, as always, defer the decision to her. She was on the fence. Then I made an executive decision to take you to the walk-in.
Luckily, the people at Dragon Legend saw we didn’t eat, and so did not charge us for the meal.
After we went home to pick your health card, we quickly went to the walk-in near Dr. Mills-Tettey.
We got to the walk-in at around 6:30-6:45pm. Man, it was packed. We looked through the window and the waiting area was full. So I quickly parked and we hurried in to register. Your mom had to wait in the lobby (outside the waiting area), while I went in. When I went to register, the receptionist was quite flustered. She even snapped at some of the waiting parents. I thought she was overwhelmed due to volume, but what we found out later that night when it was finally our turn, she had been working all day. During her day shift, a baby came for her 48 hour appointment, but this baby’s mom passed away during childbirth. So this baby came with her aunt and without saying it, I’d imagine there were lots of tears. Heck, thinking about it makes me a little sad.
After I registered you, I drove across the street to get McDonalds. When I came back with the food, you seem interested and uninterested at the same time. You ate some and puked it out. I wasn’t sure if it was because you were ill or you didn’t like the taste. But you looked so fatigued, it was heartbreaking. I didn’t eat, I was too worried. Your mom always tells me that I am a worry-wart. Meanwhile, your mom ate and was calm over the whole ordeal. As we waited, I watched you and sat next to you trying to transfer some of my good health over, even though I was sick. But seeing you sick just makes me feel helpless. I rather be sick than watch you sick.
While we were waiting, a child ahead of us was vomitting and when he saw the pediatrician, the pediatrician had to refer him to the hospital. I told your mom that I hope we would not need to go to hospital. Your dad hates hospitals, the only ever time I go to hospital was for bad news. Last time I was in the hospital was for your birth, so it did make it a little easier, but hospitals are just not a pleasant place to be.
Of course, as always, I jinx myself. When we met with the pediatrician, and the pediatrician saw you had trouble breathing (four times normal), we were sent directly to the hospital. 😦
Funny story though, there was a Chinese family who brought their kid (looked like 7 ish) in because he was playing and must of hit his head pretty hard. From looking at them, there was no visible issues with him, but Chinese parents will be Chinese. Always worried about some kind of brain damage. I mean, you hit your head all the time, it’s part of being a boy.
Back to the story. Of course, the pediatrician told us we had to go to the hospital, I tried my best to contain my anxiousness. My poker face is not the best, so your mom saw right through it, though she didn’t say anything. At this time, I think I started losing my voice. I’ve been battling a cold, and I sounded like I was going through puberty again. So with this news, it just got worse.
We arrived at the hospital, and I dropped off your mom to register. Now at this time, my mind is in panic mode. I quickly park the car, run back into the hospital to make sure I don’t miss a second. Because we waited for 2.5 hours at the walk-in clinic we only had to wait 10 mins before we were admitted. At this time, you were already sleeping on your mom. I think this is your favorite position. You loved sleeping on mom. They gave us a room, and started giving you a broncho-dialater. This is supposed to open your airways to allow you to breath more easily. As this is not just some medicine we force you to take, this is a 15 minute dose which you have to absorb through a facemask, you didn’t like it. We both knew you wouldn’t and even the nurse said, in the many patients he has seen, no kid ever liked it. So when we administered it, you kept pushing it away. We finally convinced the nurse to just keep it close to your mouth as opposed to having you inhale everything. It was becoming too difficult. So as you rested against your mom, we put the mask closely against your mouth so you will absorb as much as you could. You had to take 3 doses before and see how you were doing. After 3 doses, I did see your breathing improve and what a relief that was. Your little tummy was not beating like your heart beat, but it was still beating.
You and your mom rested while we waited for the on-call pediatrician to see us. As I didn’t have anything I could do I kept pacing back and forth worrying for you. You will find out quite quickly as men, we just want to fix everything. Even if it’s not our problem, instinctively with any issues, we look for the solution. So in this case, in the face of such helplessness, I felt quite unease about the whole situation.
Then, before the pediatrician could see us, your monitor started beeping. I didn’t know what it was, but seeing you were sound asleep I didn’t think much of it. The nurse came in and noticed that your oxygen intake was low. That’s a sign that the medicine was not working. He administered pure oxygen to you and so while you slept, we put this pure oxygen mask close to your face and you breathed in pure oxygen while you slept. You may not have known it, but you must of enjoyed it. Pure oxygen is so good for your body. With this treatment, your oxygen intake started getting better.
The pediatrician came and looked at you. He noticed weezing and you looked like you had trouble breathing. So oral steroids were perscribed to loosen the muscle around your airways. This oral steroids was a 8ml shot taken through the mouth. You already hate medicine, so I knew this would be challenging. Of course it was, and you fought us, but you got what you needed and since it was 11:30 pm, once the fight was over, you quickly went back to sleep.
With this last set of medication, I saw your breathing getting better and I started being more at ease with the whole situation. Either I was not as panicked or I was too tired, but seeing you peacefully sleeping gave me peace.
Remember the kid who went into the walk-in earlier puking and went to the hospital. Well he was there as well. Apparently he had pneumonia.
At around 2:00am, the pediatrician came, took some readings and finally gave discharged us. You were prescribed a puffer to take home.
Here is a peaceful picture of you sleeping.
We didn’t sleep until 3:00am. I hope you remember the sacrifices we made for you.
The next day, we asked your yea-yea and maa-maa to come over with breakfast. We’re pretty sure both your grandparents didn’t sleep much. You didn’t seem to feel the food, though you ate some of it, which was already a huge improvement from the previous few days. As suspected, you looked quite tired.
So by 10:00am, we put you back to sleep. Hoping you would sleep longer, your mom and I tried to catch some Zs, but by the time we were about to dose off, you woke up. That was around noon. Great, now we were tired and you were awake.
We had a little leftovers from breakfast which we thought you would eat. You really didn’t want it, so I suspect you didn’t like the food. What struck us as odd was you kept wanting to go to the kitchen. While in the kitchen, you wanted to play with the pots and you wanted to cook. Since your mom and I were tired and wanted to make you happy. We imitated the cooking on your behalf. We took out the pot, then you pointed to the spice rack and we pour some spices on the pot and pretended to cook. Then you pointed towards the pasta. We stopped there because we didn’t want to cook you a new meal and we weren’t sure if you were playing or serious.
After battling with you a pit with the food, we realized you didn’t want to eat the leftovers (you were always picky), we conceded and guessed that you may want pasta. I was once again a nervous wreck because I was worried you’d be hungry. So your mom made you pasta. Surprisingly, you were not joking and you ate up all the pasta. What a relief when I saw you had your fill.
Once full, you were back to your old playful and cheerful self. I don’t know about your mom, but I was quite relieved.
We tried putting you to sleep at 4:00pm, thinking you ought to be tired. We hoped you be tired, because we were beat. Once we got you upstairs, it’s like you had coffee or something, but you were wide awake. Without much to do, we took you to costco to get your prescription filled.
On our way there, you started to fall asleep. Great. We decided to keep you up. I thought maybe if you stayed up, you sleep early. Big mistake. Not only were you tired, but you did not want to eat. So after Costco, we drove to winners and afterwards we’ll eat some ramen. Of course, you fell asleep. While you were asleep your mom went to winners. We hoped you would sleep until she returned, but luck was not on our side this long weekend. You woke up crying for mom. I had no choice but to bring you to winners.
Once at winners, you cried more for mommy. Mommy showed up out of the changeroom and you were all calm again. However, you were trying to lead us to the toys section. I’m not sure how many times you’ve been to this winners, but you sure knew your way around. So, without much choice, we followed you to the toys section, where you proceeded looking for your favorite car. I don’t know what car you were looking for, but whatever it was you were looking for, you couldn’t find it.
As it was getting late, and we couldn’t convince you to leave, we had to carry you out. Gosh, it looked like a kidnapping the way you cried. I wonder if anybody thought it was a kidnapping of some sort. You cried in winners than in the parking lot while we put you in the car. Once you were strapped in, we decided against Ramen as you were in such a foul mode.
I have to be honest, at this point, I was so frustrated with you. Why didn’t you behave? Did you not know what we went through? It was at this time that I told your mom we will leave you at po-po’s on Monday. We needed a break.
The naughtiness did not ease up. Instead of ramen, we went to eat wonton soup noodles. We ordered the food, and you refused to eat. So we ate. At the end of the meal, we tried to give you some, you seem to want it, had some and decided against it.
Finally, just before you went to bed, you opened up and ate some cookies and had some milk. That reassured me you would sleep well. You wouldn’t sleep well if you were hungry, I know it.
Sunday rolled around and you didn’t eat breakfast. I’m not sure if you didn’t want oatmeal, or you were hungry. You once again started asking for pots which you can’t have to play with. I do not know what is your obsession with pots, but you just seem to go crazy over it. After trying to convince you to eat with no success, we gave up and decided to go to Vaughan Mills.
You love malls. You love running around in malls. And you always laugh the loudest when you are running.
Luckily at Vaughan Mills, you ate. You seem to want pasta, because we got this pasta dish at Aroma and you ate quite a bit of it. Not as much as you normally do, but quite a bit. I’m not sure if you ate too much Chinese food, but this weekend you did not feel Chinese food at all. When we called Po-Po, we told her about your pickiness and for dinner that night, you po-po made spaghetti for you. She really goes out of her way for you. As always, you had a great time at Po-Po’s place. We were quite tired of everything, and frustrated at you for being so naughty, so we were really looking forward to dropping you off Monday.
Monday rolls around, and finally it’s our day off. We dropped you off and decided to do nothing. Well I did nothing, but your mom food prepped. During the day, though I was relaxed, I started to miss you. I mean it’s nice to just sit and relax, but having you running around and making noises has become my part of life. Without you, things seem so empty.
Suffice to say, when we saw you again that night, I was energized to play with you.
Sometimes I will get frustrated with you. Mostly it’s because you frustrate me. You will be naughty, and maybe do mean things. However, whatever happens, I will always be your dad and you will always be my son. There will never be anything which can seperate that. I will always love you unconditionally.